Saturday, 30 June 2012

Genesis 11. The dryness continues. Eber outlives his great grandson

Genesis 11.

1 And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.
    What? haven't we just read a whole chapter describing how languages and lands were divided? perhaps we have gone back in time again? this book doesn't seem big on chronology.

2 And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.
    Who? The whole earth?  Was that land of Shinar named before the whole earth journeyed westward toward it?

3 And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.
    Good start if you wish to build something.

4 And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.
    So heaven is definitely a physical place that can actually be reached by ascending a tower?

5 And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.
    Did he climb down the tower in the same way the giant came down the bean-stalk?

6 And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
    So forgetting that we already have other people in other lands that speak different languages, it seems here that the 'almighty' LORD is actually afraid that if people can communicate well they might overrun heaven.

7 Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.
    Back to a plural pronoun for god, how many are there?

8 So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.
    So the Lord just picked up handfuls of people and scattered them about the planet just so they'd stop building a tower that can reach heaven. Has heaven moved since then because that must have been a really big tower, we have satellites orbiting more than six earth radii above the surface of the planet that aren't in heaven not to mention how far the voyager probes have travelled from the surface of the earth.

9 Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.
    Ok.

10 These are the generations of Shem: Shem was an hundred years old, and begat Arphaxad two years after the flood:
    Right, lets do some maths... the flood occured in 1656AE so Arphaxad is born 1658AE

11 And Shem lived after he begat Arphaxad five hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Shem lived until 2156AE and had more children, living a total of 600 years.

12 And Arphaxad lived five and thirty years, and begat Salah:
    Salah is born 1693AE.

13 And Arphaxad lived after he begat Salah four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Arphaxad lived until 2096AE and had more children, living a total of 438 years.

14 And Salah lived thirty years, and begat Eber:
    Eber is born 1723AE. Watch this guy!
   
15 And Salah lived after he begat Eber four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Salah lived until 2126AE and had more children, living a total of 443 years.

16 And Eber lived four and thirty years, and begat Peleg:
    Peleg is born 1757AE.

17 And Eber lived after he begat Peleg four hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Eber lived until 2187AE and had more children, living a total of 464 years.

18 And Peleg lived thirty years, and begat Reu:
    Reu is born 1787AE.

19 And Peleg lived after he begat Reu two hundred and nine years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Peleg lived until 1996AE and had more children, living a total of 239 years, dying before his father.

20 And Reu lived two and thirty years, and begat Serug:
    Serug is born 1819AE.

21 And Reu lived after he begat Serug two hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Reu lived until 2026AE and had more children. Living a total of 239 years, dying before his grandfather.

22 And Serug lived thirty years, and begat Nahor:
    Nahor is born 1849AE.

23 And Serug lived after he begat Nahor two hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Serug lived until 2049AE and had more children. Living a total of 230 years, dying before his great-grandfather. I wonder how Eber is taking seeing all of his progeny and their progeny and their progeny's progeny die?
   
24 And Nahor lived nine and twenty years, and begat Terah:
    Terah is born 1878AE.   

25 And Nahor lived after he begat Terah an hundred and nineteen years, and begat sons and daughters.
    Nahor lives until 1997AE and had more children. Living a total of 148 years, Will no one outlive Eber? he, along with Salah and Arphaxad must be being regarded as freaks by now. For that matter Shem is still alive! Nahor's generation must really be wondering what is going on.

26 And Terah lived seventy years, and begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran.
    Abram, Nahor and Haran born in or after 1948AE, I'm not going to assume they were triplets but they might have been. I assume Nahor was named after his grandfather Nahor.

27 Now these are the generations of Terah: Terah begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran begat Lot.
    So we don't know when Lot was born?

28 And Haran died before his father Terah in the land of his nativity, in Ur of the Chaldees.
    Dying before your father is commonplace in these times it seems.

29 And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah.
    So Abram married Sarai and and Nahor married his niece, Milcah. Is Iscah Milca's sibling or do Nahor and Milcah have children called Milcah and Iscah? It is at best not clear.

30 But Sarai was barren; she had no child.
    Ok.

31 And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son's son, and Sarai his daughter in law, his son Abram's wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there.
    Ok. Terah took his sons Abram and Haran, Abram's wife Sarai and Haran's son Lot from Ur to a place called Haran. Who is Lot's Mother? Why are Abram and Nahor's wives named and Not Haran's? Did he have one?

32 And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years: and Terah died in Haran.
    Terah dies in Haran in 2083AE, Eber is still alive, probably back in Ur.
What have we learned?
  •     Heaven is a physical place that can be reached by building a tower.
  •     God is actually afraid that the humans might reach heaven. Could they cause god a problem?
  •     It is apparent God believes that if humans can understand each other then there is nothing they can't achieve and while you and I might see this as inspirational it is evident that God sees that as a bad thing that needs to be stopped.
  •     Heaven must have moved since the destruction of the tower since try as we might we haven't found it.
  •     God confounds human language despite that in Genesis 10 it says that the earth already had dozens of languages.
  •     Peoples life spans have severely dropped but the old linger on. I wonder if Lot met Shem.

  • Next Genesis 12.

1 comment:

  1. > Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.

    Is this how you build a house? Find brick and slime? Should you really burn bricks? I ain't even going to comment on the slime.

    > So heaven is definitely a physical place that can actually be reached by ascending a tower?

    Not just any tower: a /brick-slime/ tower. That makes all the difference.

    > Did he climb down the tower in the same way the giant came down the bean-stalk?

    And was he murdered by a morally-ambiguous child with a purloined avian, an inferiority complex and a chopping axe?

    > they might overrun heaven

    It'd make a good tourist spot. I'd certainly visit, wouldn't you? Might not want to live there of course.

    > Shem was an hundred years old, and begat Arphaxad

    I'm not sure if we've commented on this yet, but it seems we're seeing asexual reproduction here. There's no mention of wives, so I assume these men are splitting like amoebas. I'm pretty sure modern humans don't do this, so unless my education has been woefully incomplete there's a big change coming to these people.

    > Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah

    Hang on, what the frotz? The /daughter/ of Haran is her own /father/? Did she/he change sex like a frog and then have an accident with a time machine? The biology displayed here is quite startling.

    > But Sarai was barren; she had no child.

    What? She couldn't split down the middle like everyone else? I am frankly astonished.

    > What have we learned?

    * Slime is a building material.
    * Brick can safely be set on fire.
    * God is not a canny businessman; in a fit of pique he destroyed Heaven's entire putative tourist industry.
    * Humans reproduce asexually, presumably by splitting down the middle, except when they can't.
    * Humans can change sex (means unknown).
    * Humans can travel back in time (means unknown).

    ReplyDelete

Book Index

GENESIS

| 1| 2| 3| 4| 5| 6| 7| 8| 9|10|
|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|
|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|
|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|
|41|42|

Pertinent Advertising