Design By Humans

Genesis 22. A Son's Worth

Genesis 22.

1 And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

    Why is God attempting to tempt Abraham? Are we about to see deception from the LORD?

2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

    I'm sure this would come across as a little unexpected, not only does God forget that Isaac is Abraham's second son, he's just gone and asked him to kill him.

3 And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and saddled his ass, and took two of his young men with him, and Isaac his son, and clave the wood for the burnt offering, and rose up, and went unto the place of which God had told him.

    What no questions? I can imagine his thoughts..."Hmmm, What shall I do this morning, Oh... let's gather up some wood and go and burn my son, it's OK, the LORD told me to do it, It's not like I've been waiting ninety years for a son with Sarah". What mind-bending substance must Abraham have been on? he pleaded for Sodom and Gomorrah, God agreed his terms and then ignored them. Why wouldn't he plead for his own son?

4 Then on the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes, and saw the place afar off.

    OK.

5 And Abraham said unto his young men, Abide ye here with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you.

    Abraham, evidently doesn't want any witnesses to the ritual murder of his son. Who would?

6 And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering, and laid it upon Isaac his son; and he took the fire in his hand, and a knife; and they went both of them together.

    Off they go then.

7 And Isaac spake unto Abraham his father, and said, My father: and he said, Here am I, my son. And he said, Behold the fire and the wood: but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?

    Isaac smells a rat! Why hasn't Abraham brought a lamb? He's an astute boy.

8 And Abraham said, My son, God will provide himself a lamb for a burnt offering: so they went both of them together.

    ...or perhaps not, He must have inherited his critical thinking skills from father. Why didn't he realise that the purpose of sacrifice is to give something of yours up, if God provides the lamb then no actual sacrifice is being made. Such a gullible boy.

9 And they came to the place which God had told him of; and Abraham built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son, and laid him on the altar upon the wood.

    No struggle? Isaac really is a docile creature.

10 And Abraham stretched forth his hand, and took the knife to slay his son.

    Again, not even a second thought. This is a properly barbaric act, all the LORD has done for Abraham is help him scam a couple of kings and made him cut off his foreskin. Who would kill their child in return for that?

11 And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.

    God didn't show up in person for this one, Does God use angels when he wants plausible deniability?

12 And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.

    OK, Apparently God doesn't want Isaac dead after all. Phew. That must have been a pretty traumatic event for Isaac, I'd say the same of Abraham but he has shown about as much parental love for the boy as a robot. I'm thinking he may have gone senile.

13 And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.

    Abraham sees a ram that has gotten stuck and helps it by setting fire to it as a means to please God, Why does God like burnt ram? I can understand Abraham being pleased that he doesn't need to kill his son, but he didn't need to in the first place, he could have said no, also why isn't Abraham angry that God pulled this stunt in the first place?

14 And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen..

    "it is said to this day"? When was this written, the narrative has taken on the style of folk myth again, it does this quite often

15 And the angel of the LORD called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,

    Right.

16 And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the LORD, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:

    Go on...

17 That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;

    But Abraham has already been promised all of this, more than once. This doesn't seem like much of a reward, he's basically been given the same promises he's already heard. His reward amounts to exactly nothing.

18 And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.

    But he'd already been granted this.

19 So Abraham returned unto his young men, and they rose up and went together to Beersheba; and Abraham dwelt at Beersheba.

    OK.

20 And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor;

    Some time later Abraham becomes an uncle.

21 Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram,

    Nahor's children are Huz, Buz, kemuel (who himself has a son called Aram),..

22 And Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel.

    ...Chesed, Hazo, Pildash, Jidlaph and Bethuel. That's quite a lot of kids to announce in one go. I'm guessing Milcah and Nahor wanted to make sure they had finished breeding before sending Abraham the "congratulations, you're an uncle" letter.

23 And Bethuel begat Rebekah: these eight Milcah did bear to Nahor, Abraham's brother.

    Bethuel has a daughter, Rebekah, So far this book hasn't listed women often in genealogies, I'm guessing this means Rebekeh will be important later.

24 And his concubine, whose name was Reumah, she bare also Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.

    Whoa, Nahor had a load of other kids by his concubine too, I wonder if Abraham is jealous.

What have we learned?

Abraham is willing to murder his own son, his own long-awaited and promised-by-God son, just because God commands it. You might think that Abraham has such love for God that this is a demonstration of that love but let's look at Abraham's respect for the Lord in the past; God was going to destroy all of Sodom, Abraham didn't like it and was man enough to argue his case, he argued strongly enough to have God capitulate. Abraham clearly thinks that the LORD fallible, capable of being wrong and capable of being corrected, so we are left with no option but to conclude that Abraham didn't think there is anything wrong with killing his son or else he would have argued to protect him.

The nature of sacrifice has been called into question, In verse eight it is suggested that God will provide a lamb to be sacrifice and I note that if God is providing the offering, in what sense is it an offering. Now that I come to think of it, if God provided the planet and all of the animals on it, in what sense is *any* sacrifice made by man an actual sacrifice? And in what way does God benefit? Let's take an analogy: A parent gives a child a bag of sweets, the child is grateful and so as a means of thanking the parent takes one of the sweets and burns it. This act benefits no one.

Genesis 21. Child Abandonment is God's Will.



Genesis 21.

1 And the LORD visited Sarah as he had said, and the LORD did unto Sarah as he had spoken.

The LORD pays Sarah a visit and does what he says he will. Alright...

2 For Sarah conceived, and bare Abraham a son in his old age, at the set time of which God had spoken to him.

Hurrah, Sarah is finally pregnant, in her nineties, will she carry to term?

3 And Abraham called the name of his son that was born unto him, whom Sarah bare to him, Isaac.

Yes! Abraham now has a son (Again).

4 And Abraham circumcised his son Isaac being eight days old, as God had commanded him.

Yeah, this whole circumcision thing wasn't adequately explained. Why does God want foreskins again?

5 And Abraham was an hundred years old, when his son Isaac was born unto him.

Isaac is born 2048AE. Note that Eber from Genesis 11 is still alive.

6 And Sarah said, God hath made me to laugh, so that all that hear will laugh with me.

I suppose laughter is one symptom of joy and it's considered infectious (not unlike some of the diseases Sarah carries), OK I'll go with this.

7 And she said, Who would have said unto Abraham, that Sarah should have given children suck? for I have born him a son in his old age.

She says that it's old age but her and Abram's great-great-great-great-grandfather is still alive and won't die for another five score years.

8 And the child grew, and was weaned: and Abraham made a great feast the same day that Isaac was weaned.

My son no longer drinks breast milk... Party!

9 And Sarah saw the son of Hagar the Egyptian, which she had born unto Abraham, mocking.

Here comes the jealousy again.

10 Wherefore she said unto Abraham, Cast out this bondwoman and her son: for the son of this bondwoman shall not be heir with my son, even with Isaac.

Yes, there it is. Sarah tells Abraham to cast out and abandon his first son and his mother.

11 And the thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his son.

I would imagine so.

12 And God said unto Abraham, Let it not be grievous in thy sight because of the lad, and because of thy bondwoman; in all that Sarah hath said unto thee, hearken unto her voice; for in Isaac shall thy seed be called.

Oh, God agrees with Sarah. I exhibit no surprise in finding that God would come down on the slightly less humane side of the argument.

13 And also of the son of the bondwoman will I make a nation, because he is thy seed.

God promises to look after Ishmael and Hagar if Abraham casts them out. What a nice deity.

14 And Abraham rose up early in the morning, and took bread, and a bottle of water, and gave it unto Hagar, putting it on her shoulder, and the child, and sent her away: and she departed, and wandered in the wilderness of Beersheba.

Some bread and a bottle of water? Is that really enough for your first born son? couldn't Abraham have cast them out with better resources? God said to cast them out but he didn't say to be unusually cruel, did he? It wouldn't be out of character I suppose.

15 And the water was spent in the bottle, and she cast the child under one of the shrubs.

So, inevitably the water runs out and Hagar throws Ishmael under a shrub, it's out of the sun I guess.

16 And she went, and sat her down over against him a good way off, as it were a bowshot: for she said, Let me not see the death of the child. And she sat over against him, and lift up her voice, and wept.

Seems like a reasonably emotive action.

17 And God heard the voice of the lad; and the angel of God called to Hagar out of heaven, and said unto her, What aileth thee, Hagar? fear not; for God hath heard the voice of the lad where he is.

OK, Another messenger? This one is invisible though, is Hagar hearing things? Is this voice merely a facet of Hagar's personality?

18 Arise, lift up the lad, and hold him in thine hand; for I will make him a great nation.

Is the 'I' here God or the messenger?

19 And God opened her eyes, and she saw a well of water; and she went, and filled the bottle with water, and gave the lad drink.

Hmm, is God taking credit for something that someone else did again? I think that Hagar probably found the well herself.

20 And God was with the lad; and he grew, and dwelt in the wilderness, and became an archer.

OK.

21 And he dwelt in the wilderness of Paran: and his mother took him a wife out of the land of Egypt.

Ishmael now has a wife. Good for him.

22 And it came to pass at that time, that Abimelech and Phichol the chief captain of his host spake unto Abraham, saying, God is with thee in all that thou doest:

Why is Abimelech still kissing Abraham's arse? These ancient rulers come across as remarkably gullible.

23 Now therefore swear unto me here by God that thou wilt not deal falsely with me, nor with my son, nor with my son's son: but according to the kindness that I have done unto thee, thou shalt do unto me, and to the land wherein thou hast sojourned.

Well at least Abimelech, with the benefit of experience, recognises that Abraham is likely to try to cheat him again and asks him not to.

24 And Abraham said, I will swear.

Abraham agrees not to try to cheat Abimelech again. What a good man (for the non Brits, this last sentence is meant sarcastically).

25 And Abraham reproved Abimelech because of a well of water, which Abimelech's servants had violently taken away.

Abraham gets mad at Abimelech because a servant has taken away a well.

26 And Abimelech said, I wot not who hath done this thing: neither didst thou tell me, neither yet heard I of it, but to day.

Abimelech denies all knowledge.

27 And Abraham took sheep and oxen, and gave them unto Abimelech; and both of them made a covenant.

Were these Abimelech's sheep and oxen to begin with?

28 And Abraham set seven ewe lambs of the flock by themselves.

OK.

29 And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What mean these seven ewe lambs which thou hast set by themselves?

Right...

30 And he said, For these seven ewe lambs shalt thou take of my hand, that they may be a witness unto me, that I have digged this well.

OK, So Abraham has dug a new well and given lambs to Abimelech to protect it?

31 Wherefore he called that place Beersheba; because there they sware both of them.

Right... We seem perhaps to have gone back in time as the place was already called Beersheba when Hagar and Ishmael were thrown out. Is this the well that Hagar fills the water bottle from?

32 Thus they made a covenant at Beersheba: then Abimelech rose up, and Phichol the chief captain of his host, and they returned into the land of the Philistines.

Has Abimelech gone home? Is Gerar the land of the Philistines?

33 And Abraham planted a grove in Beersheba, and called there on the name of the LORD, the everlasting God.

Hmm, is this grove the source of the shrub Hagar put Ishmael under? Is this story being told in a non-linear manner?

34 And Abraham sojourned in the Philistines' land many days.

Right you are then.

Comments.


  • This chapter seems to make far more sense if you start at verse 22 and then go back to verse 1 when you reach the end.
  • God condones throwing your kids out if your wife gets jealous and asks you to.
  • Why is Ishmael not considered a valid heir? Abraham did take Hagar for a wife and Ishmael is of his seed. Seems like a valid heir to me.
  • There's not really a lot else to note here.

Genesis 20. The Carnal Contagion Con

Genesis 20.

1 And Abraham journeyed from thence toward the south country, and dwelled between Kadesh and Shur, and sojourned in Gerar.

    Abraham is back on his travels.

2 And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.

    Didn't he learn his lesson in Egypt? Actually, thinking about it he got a lot of money, slaves and livestock out of fooling Pharaoh. Is Abraham just a profiteering liar? Why is he pulling this stunt again (See Genesis 12)?

3 But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife.

    And the God of lies supports his lying friend by telling King Abimelech that he'll die for taking Sarah as a wife. It's a good scam God and Abraham have here.

4 But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, Lord, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?

    Abimelech smells a rat...

5 Said he not unto me, She is my sister? and she, even she herself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this.

    ...and calls him on it. Good man, I wouldn't stand for this obvious scam either.

6 And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.

    So the LORD is claiming credit for Abimelech not touching Sarah? Will this God never stop lying?

7 Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine.

    Great back-pedalling from the LORD-of-lies, the great scammer on high!

8 Therefore Abimelech rose early in the morning, and called all his servants, and told all these things in their ears: and the men were sore afraid.

    Why were they afraid? Does Abimelech plan to keep Sarah? I suppose it would be fair, given that Abraham tried to scam him.

9 Then Abimelech called Abraham, and said unto him, What hast thou done unto us? and what have I offended thee, that thou hast brought on me and on my kingdom a great sin? thou hast done deeds unto me that ought not to be done.

    Go Abimelech! Stand up to the criminal who has entered your country and tried to fleece you.

10 And Abimelech said unto Abraham, What sawest thou, that thou hast done this thing?
   
    Good Question.

11 And Abraham said, Because I thought, Surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife's sake.
    Oh, that old chestnut. Sarah is in her nineties by this point, is she really so desirable that Abimelech would slay Abraham to claim Sarah? Seems like a poor excuse to me.

12 And yet indeed she is my sister; she is the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife.
    Oh wait, is this true? is Sarah Terah's daughter? Genesis 12 makes no mention of this but I suppose it's possible, still it is no excuse for pretending that she is not his wife and didn't we have enough incest in the last chapter? Is incest the norm among the God-fearing?

13 And it came to pass, when God caused me to wander from my father's house, that I said unto her, This is thy kindness which thou shalt shew unto me; at every place whither we shall come, say of me, He is my brother.

    Righto.

14 And Abimelech took sheep, and oxen, and menservants, and womenservants, and gave them unto Abraham, and restored him Sarah his wife.

    Abraham scores again. This really is a great scam the LORD and he have going.

15 And Abimelech said, Behold, my land is before thee: dwell where it pleaseth thee.

    Really? For what possible reason could Abimelech think this guy deserves hospitality. His excuse was so week.

16 And unto Sarah he said, Behold, I have given thy brother a thousand pieces of silver: behold, he is to thee a covering of the eyes, unto all that are with thee, and with all other: thus she was reproved.
    Okey Dokey.

17 So Abraham prayed unto God: and God healed Abimelech, and his wife, and his maidservants; and they bare children.
    Ohhh, is this another case of Sarah having a communicable disease? She is/was barren, she infected Pharaoh and now she has infected Abimelech and his family. Luckily God has cured them though.

18 For the LORD had fast closed up all the wombs of the house of Abimelech, because of Sarah Abraham's wife.

    Yup, sure sounds like a communicable disease, how many of Abimelech's house did Sarah sleep with?


What have we learned from this?

  • Either God and Abraham have a fantastic scam going or Sarah is a diseased, adulterous slut and this whole story is an elaborate cover-up, or, perhaps both?

Genesis 19. Of Incest and Buggery

Genesis 19.

1 And there came two angels to Sodom at even; and Lot sat in the gate of Sodom: and Lot seeing them rose up to meet them; and he bowed himself with his face toward the ground;

    Do we yet know what an angel is? I have to look at the linguistic root at this point since the narrative hasn't said word one about it. Well in it's current English form it's from Sanskrit via Greek via Latin via French and it means messenger. The Hebrew it has been translated from also means messenger so an angel is no more special than a messenger, I suppose envoy might be a good approximation. Back to the text then are these two messengers the same two men that went and visited Abraham with the man that Abraham recognised as the LORD? Are angels human? is the LORD for that matter?

2 And he said, Behold now, my lords, turn in, I pray you, into your servant's house, and tarry all night, and wash your feet, and ye shall rise up early, and go on your ways. And they said, Nay; but we will abide in the street all night.
    Lot is hospitable and offers them a bed for the night and they that they'll sleep in the street. It might be because I'm English but it strikes me that the angels were being sarcastic.

3 And he pressed upon them greatly; and they turned in unto him, and entered into his house; and he made them a feast, and did bake unleavened bread, and they did eat.

    Lot convinces them to come in and makes them a meal.

4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:
    A good number of the menfolk of Sodom come and surround Lot's house. Why?

5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

    Now do they mean know in the way that people call biblical? Like Adam knew his wife? perhaps, so some men turn up in a city (angels must look exactly like men) and all the men in the city want to have sex with them? I find their motivation to be inadequately explained. For what reason would an entire town of men, young and old, from all quarters, descend on Lot's house and demand to have sex with his guests?

6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,

    Good move, if there are indeed that many men all wanting to slip some to your house guests are waiting outside.

7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.

    He begins to plead with the horny hoard...

8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

    ...and offers the men 'full access' to his virgin daughters in place of his male guests. Is this a good act? a righteous suggestion? Are daughters less valuable than strangers? Would it not be more honourable to not offer *anyone* to the rampaging rapists and actually just say no?

9 And they said, Stand back. And they said again, This one fellow came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them. And they pressed sore upon the man, even Lot, and came near to break the door.

    So unsatisfied with Lot's offer and with an appetite for angelic-arse-action, the hole-hungry-horde attempt to push by Lot and break into the house where their rectal-ramming-retribution will be laid heavier on Lot for having got in the way.

10 But the men put forth their hand, and pulled Lot into the house to them, and shut to the door.

    The men (are angels human) pull lot into the house and close the door...

11 And they smote the men that were at the door of the house with blindness, both small and great: so that they wearied themselves to find the door.

    ...and struck all of the men at the door blind. What sorcery is this? By what mechanism was this achieved?
   

12 And the men said unto Lot, Hast thou here any besides? son in law, and thy sons, and thy daughters, and whatsoever thou hast in the city, bring them out of this place:
    The men (Still men? after blinding all those people with magic?) instruct Lot to get his whole family out of Sodom.

13 For we will destroy this place, because the cry of them is waxen great before the face of the LORD; and the LORD hath sent us to destroy it.
    Right, so these angels were sent to destroy Sodom. There is no mention of the investigation the LORD agreed to carry out to find out if there were ten good people in Sodom. Has the LORD broken his agreement with Abraham and just sent some angels to destroy the city despite there possibly being some righteous people in it. Was it just by chance that they walked past Lot's house? If they had taken a different route into Sodom, would Lot's family have been spared?

14 And Lot went out, and spake unto his sons in law, which married his daughters, and said, Up, get you out of this place; for the LORD will destroy this city. But he seemed as one that mocked unto his sons in law.
    Lot's sons-in-law didn't believe him, I can't say I blame them. On a side note, how big is Lot's family? How many Sons-in-law does he have? we already know he has two unmarried daughters and a wife, if he has just three married daughters then his family alone make up the ten required to save Sodom from destruction.

15 And when the morning arose, then the angels hastened Lot, saying, Arise, take thy wife, and thy two daughters, which are here; lest thou be consumed in the iniquity of the city.
    The angels (formerly referred to as men. Are they just messengers?) usher Lot, His wife and two daughters out of the city.

16 And while he lingered, the men laid hold upon his hand, and upon the hand of his wife, and upon the hand of his two daughters; the LORD being merciful unto him: and they brought him forth, and set him without the city.

    ...

17 And it came to pass, when they had brought them forth abroad, that he said, Escape for thy life; look not behind thee, neither stay thou in all the plain; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed.
    Is this the LORD speaking now?

18 And Lot said unto them, Oh, not so, my Lord:

    ...

19 Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die:

    Lot complains to the LORD that the mountains he's been ordered to are too dangerous to run to...

20 Behold now, this city is near to flee unto, and it is a little one: Oh, let me escape thither, (is it not a little one?) and my soul shall live.

    ...and begs that he be allowed to run to this nearby city instead.

21 And he said unto him, See, I have accepted thee concerning this thing also, that I will not overthrow this city, for the which thou hast spoken.

    God capitulates, just like he did with Abraham. Is this god all powerful? All knowing? surely he would know it was too dangerous for Lot to go to the mountains and if it wasn't too dangerous why capitulate? If the city was the best destination for Lot, why didn't God command him to go there in the first place?

22 Haste thee, escape thither; for I cannot do any thing till thou be come thither. Therefore the name of the city was called Zoar.

    God can't destroy Sodom and Gomorrah until Lot is safely in Zoar.

23 The sun was risen upon the earth when Lot entered into Zoar.

    Phew, he got there in time.

24 Then the LORD rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven;
    Now, which heaven are we talking about here? The heavens as in the sky, or the odd ethereal other-world that the gods (The Lord and his friends from Genesis 1,2 and 3) live in? Or... is 'the LORD out of heaven' a title and he is spewing fire and brimstone out of himself like some sort of flamethrower?

25 And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.

    What about Zoar? As I remember from Genesis 14 Zoar is in the plain.

26 But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.

    Wait what? Why did she become a pillar of salt? There was no warning against looking back, who or what turned her to salt and why? What precedent do we have to even believe it possible? who's testimony is this? This sounds rather like a story fabricated to explain the existence of pillars of salt in a dry sea-bed by goat herders to stop their children asking what they were.

27 And Abraham gat up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the LORD:

    OK.

28 And he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain, and beheld, and, lo, the smoke of the country went up as the smoke of a furnace.

    The cities and lands of the plain burned (but not Zoar?).

29 And it came to pass, when God destroyed the cities of the plain, that God remembered Abraham, and sent Lot out of the midst of the overthrow, when he overthrew the cities in the which Lot dwelt.
    Well he didn't remember Abraham very well did he? He said he'd spare Sodom if he found ten righteous people, He didn't even look, he just sent two messengers who didn't get past the first house.

30 And Lot went up out of Zoar, and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him; for he feared to dwell in Zoar: and he dwelt in a cave, he and his two daughters.

    OK, Caves are cool I guess, not quite as good as a house and probably about as good as a tent, I might have gone for a tent myself.

31 And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth:

    Conveniently forgetting all of the men in Zoar and for some reason not knowing that there are plenty of people living outside of the now destroyed plain, probably not three days walk away...

32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

    The eldest daughter decides to get her father drunk and have sex with him in order to keep the family line going.

33 And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
   
    How drunk would the man have to be to not notice being boinked by his daughter?

34 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.

    And then his youngest daughter does the same?

35 And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.

    Could he really be drunk enough not to notice yet be functional enough to 'rise' to the challenge? Again I ask who's testimony this is because it sounding a little shaky, Could it be lot that got his daughters drunk? Either way the acts are distasteful and at the very least not the best way to preserve a family line... If you want to preserve it in an healthy way that is.

36 Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.

    OK.. and by that I mean I understand, not that it's OK.

37 And the firstborn bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.

    Right you are.

38 And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.

    Well there we are then.

So what have we got out of this?

    God promised Abraham that he would survey Sodom to see if there were ten or more righteous people and not destroy it if he found them but instead sent two messengers who stopped at the first house and didn't bother to look any further. Why did the LORD destroy Sodom? It seems quite likely that ten righteous people would have been found if a thorough search were conducted. Did the LORD lie to Abraham? It seems he did but this should come as no surprise given that his first words to a human were also a lie.

    Are angels human? The description of them would indicate yes. Admittedly the angels in this story were able to strike a crowd blind but then so are men today with the aid of powders or gases. It is entirely likely that these 'angels' are just human men with some nifty weapons.

    Speaking of nifty weapons, is the LORD in this chapter and the last also a human? He is described as a man many times, he walks from place to place on foot, he eats food and drinks wine, he negotiates with both Abraham and Lot showing no clear authority. So if the LORD is a man, is the destruction of the plains and the cities therein supernatural? Well, it depends how you read verse 24.

    Is the judgement of Lot as righteous a tacit approval of his offer to send his daughters out to a rape-mob as fuck-fodder? It seems that protecting the messengers, who it turns out are capable of protecting themselves, is something that Lot needs to do at any cost, including the surrender of his virgin daughters to sexual violence and humiliation. For some reason this is also the first thing Lot thinks of to try to placate the mob, there are a great number of things he could have tried first. Is offering your daughters up for rape a righteous act in the eyes of the LORD?

    Why was Lot's wife turned to salt? This is very ill explained, there isn't even enough detail to try to work it out.

    And finally... The incest! Why? What possible reason could there be for both of Lot's daughters to need to have sex with their father? We know there are settlements in the mountains, Abraham's tribe for example, there is also a city full of men in near-by Zoar. There is no justification for the incest. Furthermore, is it actually possible for a man to be drunk enough to not notice his own daughters riding his rod yet be sober enough to keep it up?

What an odd chapter!

Genesis 18. "Calm Down LORD!" Says Abraham

Genesis 18.

1 And the LORD appeared unto him in the plains of Mamre: and he sat in the tent door in the heat of the day;

    Abraham shelters from the sun in his tent door. and God appears.

2 And he lift up his eyes and looked, and, lo, three men stood by him: and when he saw them, he ran to meet them from the tent door, and bowed himself toward the ground,
    Is one of the three men the LORD? is the LORD all three men? let's see if the text tells us.

3 And said, My Lord, if now I have found favour in thy sight, pass not away, I pray thee, from thy servant:

    No clues there, Abraham might be addressing one or all of them. He begs them not to leave.

4 Let a little water, I pray you, be fetched, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree:

    He wants to wash their feet. Is at least one of these 'men' the LORD? does the LORD have feet? is this LORD a man? What's going on?

5 And I will fetch a morsel of bread, and comfort ye your hearts; after that ye shall pass on: for therefore are ye come to your servant. And they said, So do, as thou hast said.

    Now he wants to feed them. If they aren't the LORD why does he call himself their servant?

6 And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth.

    He gets Sarah to make cakes.

7 And Abraham ran unto the herd, and fetcht a calf tender and good, and gave it unto a young man; and he hasted to dress it.
    He butchers a calf.

8 And he took butter, and milk, and the calf which he had dressed, and set it before them; and he stood by them under the tree, and they did eat.
    He feeds them well, under a tree.

9 And they said unto him, Where is Sarah thy wife? And he said, Behold, in the tent.

    They ask where his wife is, they know her name, I suppose it is no secret and Abraham and Sarah must be pretty famous in the area. Abraham tells the men where his wife is.

10 And he said, I will certainly return unto thee according to the time of life; and, lo, Sarah thy wife shall have a son. And Sarah heard it in the tent door, which was behind him.

    Who's speaking now? is it the LORD? is one of the three men the LORD? this is at best unclear. Whoever it is he/they tell Abraham that Sarah will conceive, God had already told him this.

11 Now Abraham and Sarah were old and well stricken in age; and it ceased to be with Sarah after the manner of women.

    However Sarah is post-menopause, this may be problematic.

12 Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, After I am waxed old shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?

    She laughs at the prospect of Abraham being able to provide her with 'pleasure' at his age.

13 And the LORD said unto Abraham, Wherefore did Sarah laugh, saying, Shall I of a surety bear a child, which am old?
    Oh so the LORD is about, which one of the three men is he? is he actually a man?

14 Is any thing too hard for the LORD? At the time appointed I will return unto thee, according to the time of life, and Sarah shall have a son.

    The LORD has begun talking about himself in the third person. This is never a good sign, I've read a lot of comics and referring to oneself in the third person is almost always a sign of arch-villainy. The character of the LORD seems to have changed somewhat.

15 Then Sarah denied, saying, I laughed not; for she was afraid. And he said, Nay; but thou didst laugh.
    OK, Nice bit of back-and-forth between the LORD and Sarah.

16 And the men rose up from thence, and looked toward Sodom: and Abraham went with them to bring them on the way.

    IS this the LORD plus three men? is the LORD one of the men or is the LORD a compound of the three men?

17 And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;
    The LORD implies that he will disclose everything he will do to Abraham...

18 Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?

    ...Because Abraham will be great.
   

19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
    Third person again?

20 And the LORD said, Because the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah is great, and because their sin is very grievous;

    What is their sin, hopefully we'll find out later.

21 I will go down now, and see whether they have done altogether according to the cry of it, which is come unto me; and if not, I will know.

    Oh??? so the LORD has only heard rumours of the sins of Sodom and he needs to go down and check this out for himself. Surely this is something that the LORD should already know? Also, Is the lord on foot?

22 And the men turned their faces from thence, and went toward Sodom: but Abraham stood yet before the LORD.

    Yes the LORD, if he is one of the three, is on foot. Who are his walking buddies? We've never seen the LORD out like this before, having a walk with his chums. How does Abraham know that this is the LORD and not just an impostor and his entourage after a free meal?

23 And Abraham drew near, and said, Wilt thou also destroy the righteous with the wicked?

    Abraham, remembering that he has relatives in Sodom asks the lord if he has to destroy everyone, even if some are righteous.    

24 Peradventure there be fifty righteous within the city: wilt thou also destroy and not spare the place for the fifty righteous that are therein?
    He continues to quantify his question, Will the LORD forgo his wilful destruction of Sodom if there are fifty good people living there?   

25 That be far from thee to do after this manner, to slay the righteous with the wicked: and that the righteous should be as the wicked, that be far from thee: Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?

    Abraham berates the LORD, questioning his character, has the LORDS manner changed? why does Abraham even believe that the *man* he is talking to is the LORD? Abraham assesses that the action proposed by the LORD is not right and asks the LORD to do the right thing.
   
26 And the LORD said, If I find in Sodom fifty righteous within the city, then I will spare all the place for their sakes.

    The LORD changes his mind on the advice of Abraham, is this the all-powerful, all-knowing, eternally just deity that we've been told about? He was perfectly willing to unjustly slay any righteous people along with the sinners, for what? expediency? Is the LORD rushed in his work?

27 And Abraham answered and said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord, which am but dust and ashes:

    Abraham, Recognising that he has just, berated, corrected and convinced a deity is rightly pleased. I wonder if this will make his trust or admiration for the LORD any less.

28 Peradventure there shall lack five of the fifty righteous: wilt thou destroy all the city for lack of five? And he said, If I find there forty and five, I will not destroy it.

    Having found a lever to coerce the LORD and realising that GOD is not infallible Abraham pushes further to save Sodom.

29 And he spake unto him yet again, and said, Peradventure there shall be forty found there. And he said, I will not do it for forty's sake.

    ...and pushes further still.

30 And he said unto him, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak: Peradventure there shall thirty be found there. And he said, I will not do it, if I find thirty there.

    realising that his relationship with the LORD is nearing equality Abraham calls for the LORD to calm down, the LORD does and they settle on a figure of thirty righteous people to save in Sodom.

31 And he said, Behold now, I have taken upon me to speak unto the Lord: Peradventure there shall be twenty found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for twenty's sake.

    ...but he pushes further and the LORD, apparently weak in his earlier resolve, capitulates.

32 And he said, Oh let not the Lord be angry, and I will speak yet but this once: Peradventure ten shall be found there. And he said, I will not destroy it for ten's sake.

    ...Abraham gets the number down to ten...

33 And the LORD went his way, as soon as he had left communing with Abraham: and Abraham returned unto his place.

    ...and the LORD walked off, presumably with his two friends.

Questions?

  • The LORD sometimes travels with a couple of friends, on foot and appearing as a man.

  • Sometimes the wandering LORD is receptive to a warm meal instead of a burnt offering. Is this the same LORD? How does Abraham recognise this man as the LORD?

  • The LORD has heard stories about the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah but won't know the truth of it until he goes and looks for himself. Is this LORD omnipresent or all knowing? is this the same character?

  • Sarah lies to the LORD about laughing and goes unpunished, is lying OK with this man-shaped, foot-travelling, bread-and-lamb-eating LORD? Is this the same LORD?

  • This man-LORD resolves to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah based entirely on hearsay and Abraham calls him on it, basically telling the lord to calm down and telling the LORD that this would be unjust. Is the LORD just? Is this LORD the source of all justice and morality?

  • Abraham manages to negotiate with the LORD as an equal and in fact displays a moral superiority that the LORD capitulates to. Why does this LORD need convincing to do the right thing? Why is the LORD incapable of only punishing the sinners anyway? Surely the LORD could sort the people into sinners and non-sinners hence avoiding this whole dilemma?

Book Index

GENESIS

| 1| 2| 3| 4| 5| 6| 7| 8| 9|10|
|11|12|13|14|15|16|17|18|19|20|
|21|22|23|24|25|26|27|28|29|30|
|31|32|33|34|35|36|37|38|39|40|
|41|42|43|44|45|46|47|

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